The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Suck my nips this is one awesome movie. This movie was so awesome that I went home and shaved my butt hairs into little bowl cut/Mohawk like Lisbeth Salander dons in the movie. If I sat on your head, it would look like you had a nice little hat on. I also tried to pierce my penis but was told that there isn’t a ring small enough. Anyways, on to the movie that nearly forced my balls into my own butt.

I saw this movie a couple weeks ago so my memory is a little hazy. I remember that there is some bullshit about the main character getting in trouble and getting sued for being a little shithead. Basically, everyone thinks he lied in an article about some rich burnt turd so everyone thought he was an asshole. That, already, is unrealistic. No one cares if someone lies about some rich dipshit. Anyways, that’s an underlying story throughout and not as important and the main story which is a sexy ass man and weird looking (although super-hot) girl trying to find out what happened to some other rich guys daughter. Obviously, they find out the truth through pure, unabated sex. They have relentless sex until they solve the mystery. They absolutely refuse to stop having sex until the case is closed! Finally after they have had all the sex they can, they figure it all out. It was the fartbag you thought it was the whole movie. It was just another rich dick dongle who thinks that just because he is a sneaky little fuck, he can murder whoever he wants. He clearly underestimated the sexual powers of our two main characters.

If I sound like I hated this movie, that isn’t the case you fucking moron. Didn’t you read the first sentence? Someone check these nip tips for a pulse! There were parts in this movie that were so good, so intense, that I literally shit my pants in the theatre. I mean, they had to shut the place down. The smell was fucking awful. I had to sneak out the back and come back to a different screening just to see the last 45 minutes of this 15 hour movie. So, sit back, strap on a diaper, and prepare to be have your titties tingled.